Recently I attended the movie “The Lucky One” with my wife Emily. In the spirit of full disclosure it should be noted that this type of movie (love story) is really not my favorite. In fact, my son Zach said that if I went to this movie I would have to surrender my “man card.” While this type of movie may not my favorite, Emily without question is my favorite and I enjoyed spending a day with her doing what she wanted.
I want to share a couple of parenting principles that jumped out to me based on one scene from the movie. In this particular scene a little boy (8-9 years old) had spent considerable time practicing tying a tie for a formal event. The little boy was proud of his hard work and ran to show his dad. The dad immediately began to fix his tie and remarked something like “you need to learn to tie a tie.” Naturally, the little boy was demoralized.
Parenting Principle: Recognize, appreciate and encourage our kids when they have tried their best even if the outcome is less than desired. They won’t always hit a homerun or make straight A’s. If they did their best, recognize their effort. If necessary, we can then focus on how we can appropriately help them. Our words are powerful and can impact our kids for years or even a lifetime. Is it really a big deal if an 8 year olds tie isn’t perfect?
In the same scene the grandfather of the little boy criticizes his son’s choice of suits. This criticism was so similar to the way his son had just criticized his grandson about his tie.
Parenting Principle: We often parent like we were parented. Let’s keep the positive parenting examples we learned from our parents. However, let’s not repeat the characteristics or habits that don’t benefit our kids.
If you didn’t have the blessing of Godly parents I encourage you to seek out parenting role models. While there are no perfect parents, Biblically based parenting is God’s best for our kids.