MORE THAN FRIENDS - Parent Connection

Feb 2019 Parent Connection -- MORE THAN FRIENDS

Week 1: What about my feelings?

Bottom Line: We need to follow the filling or our obsessions will control us.

Scripture Focus: Judges 13-16 (The story of Samson)

Connection Question: Share something you were obsessed with. How did it steal from you and your walk with God? How did it inform your choices?

Our feelings are powerful motivators, but they were never meant to lead us. Most of us let our feelings run our lives – if we feel sad we shop or eat, if we’re happy we’ll introduce ourselves to someone new, if we’re infatuated with someone we’ll drop everything to be near that person 24/7. What’s the difference between obsession and passion? Passion – really enthusiastic about, doesn’t rule your life. Doesn’t cause you to ignore the other stuff in your life. Obsession – tendency to take over your life and control your thoughts and actions. Just the thought of being away from it makes your nervous. Our obsessions with our dating lives are stealing from us the freedom of walking in Christ.

*Your student is learning the difference between trusting their infatuation and trusting God. Take the opportunity to guide them through the difference between healthy passion and infatuation/obsession.

Week 2: What did you think was going to happen?

Bottom Line: Break ups happen, but they don’t have to break you.

Scripture Focus: Phil 2:3-7

Connection Question: Share about a time you handled a break up poorly and how you wish you had handled it. Ask your student about connections from large group: Why are you dating? What boundaries have you set so that in the even it doesn’t end in marriage your heart, mind, and body are safe? What relationships make you feel valued – Jesus is the only relationship that assigns value. What are some ways I can help you walk with Jesus as the value assigning relationship?

Break ups are hard. But when we’re dating we need to remember that there are only two results – either we’re going to get married or we’re going to split up. How we treat people when things don’t end in happily ever after can honor God. We need to decide now to treat ourselves and others with dignity, regardless of how others respond. Our natural responses are toward selfish ambition. We need to be filled with the Holy Spirit before we take steps or respond to a break up. You can honor God in this process! I can help.

***Break ups are not a reason to send you into depression. Take some time to walk your student through WHY the break up is so much more important than what you or God says. Help them come to a self-revelation that their feelings are not always true.

Week 3: God’s Design


God’s design for sex is better than the world’s design for sex.

Scripture Focus: Romans 12:1-2

Connection Question: What is God’s design?

Sex is an act of unification and worship. It is a blessing in the correct context. It’s a gift He gave us that honors Him. But we take a lot of good things God gave us and twist them. Intimacy is one of the things the world has taken and used outside of God’s instructions. God’s plan for relationships allows for healthy connections, unity in a marriage, and worships God. Our interactions with sex can leave a seal or a scar. We get to choose whose plan for intimacy we trust.

Purity Challenge:

During large group service your student was presented with a certificate with an opportunity to commit to purity – not abstinence. We know that sin starts far before the act in our hearts. Go get a frame for their commitment and remind your student of what they committed to when things get hard or they start getting frustrated with boundaries. Our choices about sex reflect what we believe about God and how we approach Him. This certificate is a way to take the focus off the act and get to the root of where it’s coming from – the heart.

*** We will not talk about the mechanics of sex or discuss safe sex practices. Pornography may come up in small group and questions about “what’s allowed”. We want to help you to have open conversations about God’s design for their lives. Unfortunately, their friends are talking about this topic and more. We want to help create space where your child can ask questions. During small group we will answer questions without talking through details, we would love for those to come from you. Please don’t hesitate to call your group leader and or Student Pastor to get a copy of the group guides ahead of time or to talk through things you’d like your student to hear or not hear. We will do everything we can to partner with you and honor you as a parent. Please know you are not doing this alone, the student ministry is praying for God’s truth to always be the best plan.

We’d like to hear from you! If these parent challenges have blessed you, we’d love to know. Please send any stories or experiences you’ve had with your student during these challenges to! We appreciate you and all that you do to help our student ministry!

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